why i can't stop dreaming about you

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16.02.2025

It’s been six years since we last spoke.

Eight years since I last saw you.

A decade since we started slipping into silence, our presence in each other’s lives fading like ink left too long in the sun.

And yet, you haunt my dreams.

Every other night, you appear—the only face in a sea of blurred, faceless figures. And when I wake, all that lingers is the certainty that you were there.

But why?

I don’t miss you.

I never hated you.

Our best moments have softened over time, becoming harder to hold onto with each passing year. But the reason I let you go remains as clear as ever.

And even that doesn’t hurt anymore.

I forgave you long ago.

Neither of us was entirely to blame for what happened.

I wanted you to be the kind of friend who stays forever.

But maybe, to you, I was just a season—something fleeting, something temporary.

You never feared losing people.

Your ego always came first.

You loved yourself in a way I didn’t even understand back then.

You expected me to understand without a word

To accept the things you did, the things you took—

The people you took.

But I couldn’t.

Some things were meant for me alone. And if losing you was the price of keeping them, then so be it.

I learned that from you.

How to choose myself.

How to stop breaking myself open for someone who would never do the same.

Looking back, I know the person I am now would have never chosen you.

You were meant for my past.

And that’s where you remain.

I have never regretted cutting ties.

But I have also never regretted that day.

That quiet afternoon, when you asked if I wanted to eat with you, we sat together, shared gossip, and for a moment, I felt a little less alone.

For that, I will always be grateful.

Maybe that’s why I keep dreaming of you.

Maybe, once, you really were my best friend.